You are confident, creative and capable. Prove it.

So, I promised I would keep this blog updated, didn't I?

Well, tonight marks my first night off since Wednesday. And, I am.....exhausted.

whew.

I didn't fully prepare myself for the challenging clinical aspect of this trip. I acknowledged that it would be difficult to leave my family and my social circle. I understood that I woud miss a few parties and social events. I assumed that it would not be easy to find my way around a new city. I never expected this trip to be a breeze. However, it never occurred to me that the most challenging task in this adventure would be my job. I mean, I came here to work as a NICU nurse. I do that every week, after all. How hard could that be?

WHEW.

The answer? Pretty dang hard.

I feel like this week has stretched me as a nurse. I feel like this week has attempted to kick my cocky, nurse butt. I feel like this week has owned me. Hardcore.

I was told that I would be following a nurse for three, 12-hour shifts. You know...so I could orient to the unit, paperwork, computer systems, equipment, policies, procedures, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I came in my second night and was told that I would be working independently.

Yikes.

I spent the next 12 hours trying not to drown.

Suddenly, everyday tasks seemed monumentally more challenging. I felt like a very inquisitive preschooler: Where do you keep the feeding tubes? What's the password to the PYXIS? How often do you chart pain assessments? What is a Nutra A? Am I really supposed to discard all residuals? Why is this pump telling me to back prime? Why do people keep asking me if I need help from a TL? What is a TL?

And, on it continued for 12 hours.

I left feeling overwhelmed and under-oriented.

The next shift, I felt ready to tackle the beast once more. However, much to my dismay, I was told that I had been floated to a Pediatric floor. After 4 hours of "orientation" (seriously, these people need to find a new word for what they call "orientation"), 4 Peds patients, ranging in ages from 2 mos to 16 years, were under my sole care.

5 hours into my shift, I was administering an enema to a 3 year old boy (who clutched my hand and said "Em-a-wee, I'm scared"), and seriously thinking that I had made a huge mistake.

After that third night, I felt sure that I was ready to return to the comfort and routine of my Dallas hospital. But, then, suddenly-- about six hours into my fourth shift, I started to hit what appeared to be the beginnings of my stride. Could it be I was catching on?!

"You are confident, creative and capable". Maybe, I will prove it, after all.

What a week!