I'll Find You Near the Honeysuckle Bush

I remembered you then. When the smell of honeysuckle swept past me in a breeze, I remembered you. I saw you again, standing near a honeysuckle bush, tasting the sweet juice in it's delicate bloom. You stood there, wrapped in sunlight and joy. Little girl, I saw you.

"Remember me", you seemed to say with your soft brown eyes. "When you're older, remember me- remember this moment". And now, that same moment is lost somewhere in the tangles of a nighttime dream- in the breeze of a daytime memory. Little girl, I lost you for awhile.

There are moments when I remember you, though. You and your effortless faith- your effortless love- your effortless joy. And, I miss you then- in those moments. The smell of honeysuckle makes me miss you. Little girl, I miss you now.

Now, I have fears. Your fears were small and always gone as quickly as lightening dissolves in the night. But, my fears are big. You were braver than I am. I didn't know it then, but you were brave. I get lost sometimes in my fears. I get scared in the night and wake up with a thousand tears. I cry much more than you ever did. Little girl, you were brave.

I see you again, standing near the honeysuckle bush, and I ache for you. I ache for your effortless faith that eventually lost it's ease when the storms didn't dissolve so quickly in the night. I ache for your effortless love that tarnished with too many broken hearts. I ache for your effortless joy that became more difficult when the world found you and staked their claim on your dreams. Little girl, I ache for you.

I remember you now. I remember who you were, and I miss you- I'll always miss you when the smell of honeysuckle finds me in a breeze.

But, Little girl, I make you this promise: I'll forever keep your memory safe near the honeysuckle bush.

Because, Little girl, I was you.